Dumbed Down and Numbed by Time and Age

25ish years from now
and I'm on a park bench
with half of my DNA.
"no, listen (some first name that goes well with my middle and last name)
it's like i've always been telling you
since you were 15;
they'll break your heart.
they'll flirt,
provoke,
promise,
love,
swear,
and then
change their mind.

it's happened to the best of us,
trust us."

and then i'll close my eyes tight
and try with all my might
to somehow transfer all my memories
the conversations--
the lack of talking--
the ecstasy--
the deep deep disappointment--
the anxiety--
the anxiety--
over to him,
so he can understand what i'm talking about.

nothing.

so i'm left, just sitting on a park bench,
and he leaves to experience it for himself.

on second thought,
maybe i won't give him my middle name.

then at least he would have the
SLIGHT opportunity
of not making the same mistakes i do/did.

Sun 9:59 PM

to believe 101% that the bible is the truth. the word of God. the biblical jesus is the only jesus. the bible is the only word. yes, consider it believed. 

to act. to digest. to live. next step.

i'm ready lord. i'm excited. use me as the tool (sic) i know i can be.

01.10.10

I can't wait for the tenth of October.

++++++++++++++

blurthelinesblurethelinesblurthelinesblurthelines
linesthebluelinestheblurlinestheblurlinestheblurs

++++++++++++++

i use to blame it on her
lack of commitment
unwillingness to settle
it was all because i had been hurt in the past
what a piss poor excuse
what a head case i've become

i'm constantly fighting the urge to settle in to this life
and the desire to rip it all apart and start over again

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

blueberry lipgloss.