i am a breathing time machine,

i'll take you all for a ride.


==============
i was worried that i had forgotten this feeling,
so i guess in a way i'm grateful that it happened.

the problem is that i know without a shadow of a doubt
what IT is. there's no second guessing, which sucks.

IT is everything i've ever wanted
IT is amazingly powerful
IT is literally gut-wrenching
IT is graceful
IT is really funny
IT is terribly terribly depressing
IT is kinda cute
IT can be debilitating
IT is my dreams
IT brings me to tears
IT both softens and hardens my heart
IT is the accumulation of my life
IT has the potential to be the greatest thing i could have ever done
IT is ART (like real, creative, produced art)

and since IT cannot be mine, i only pray that i forget about it quickly

020311

UPDATE: blah blah blah
---------------------------------------------------------

currently wonder if i actually really wrote the post before this one.

while i burn holes into the back of every blonde haired girl at church
and friend every cute brunette suggested to me on facebook
and talk to every asian waitress in dallas.

oh, you want to be married?
odd, because i'd say that opposite by your actions.

"i think you're selfish."
"i agree", but you have a dirty mouth and that's not very becoming of a lady.

it's funny to see you make that look in that facebook video-
because it's the same look you use to make me in other videos long ago.
also, tell your effing boyfriend to quite checking me out on linkedin.

please excuse me, everyone, for not calling to break up with her after the second date.
it was my bad for calling her back after the first.

to be a man
be a man
be a man
be a man
be a fucking man
if that's not your goal, then what is?