social notworking

i guess i knew before i looked what i would find
i mean....duh.
who wouldn't post that?

it's just another tally really in the large social network of life
get a girlfriend
change your Facebook status
get engaged
change your Facebook picture
break up
delete your account
five months later
return to Facebook like you're some kind of hero

i'm not surprised by your engagement
and i wasn't surprised by your relationship
i WAS surprised that you still loved me
but, to be fair, that was a year ago times two
which just means that i will be REALLY surprised when i find out you still love me now
...or at least that's how the dream goes
whomp whomp whommmm

i don't even know what i'm talking about

i'm a slave to the nostalgia
and comforted in old memories bring up old pain
,apparently

on monday mornings,
while hoga teacher is twisting me in painful positions
asking me to do things
my body can't do
i keep thinking
why can't i do this in other areas of my life
bend against what i've always held to be natural/safe
maybe my unhappiness is spurred from my security

unfortunately, i don't have enough unhappiness on most nights,
to detect an origin
it's in the morning, when X or Y or Z leaves
and i sink back into my bed for a short 5 minutes
in order to restore the routine of my wake up;
alone;
as it should be;
for now